Keyboard Failed (and so did you)

Everything around you says you aren't performing. It's all digital. It's all data driven. It's all the time. 
Relentless reminders of how much you should be doing, seeing, or tasting.
You're the only person that's never been to Disneyland, used a smart phone, and are overweight.
Here's the reality. It's just data. It has very little to do with you as an individual. It's usually based on averages in a database some propeller head thought up. 

Here's a newsflash. The data dobbers are just as goofy as the rest of us.
Want proof?

When you turn your computer on without a keyboard attached, the prompt you'll get is "No Keyboard Attached. Press any key to continue."
How are we mere mortals supposed to do that if there's no keyboard Mr. Techno-not? If that's the best message you can come up with, you failed. Stick that in your data warehouse. I would come by and talk to you about it, but the report you generated indicates your inability to carry on a conversation with humans, on account of all the Jolt, Mountain Dew and Twinkies giving you the jitters. But please, by all means, continue on your quest to find my faults.

I feel better now that I've vented. But I'm just an average guy. How about you?

Image from: The Smell of Molten Projects In The Morning